2018 ends in pain

2018 wasn’t the best year on record – better than some. Worse than others. Until this week.

Anyone who uses Facebook has seen friends “sharing” their Facebook-generated “Your 2018” videos. Our “feeds” are full of them. We were kind of looking forward to our own popping up, until this week. This week 2018 went from a bit challenging to agonizing.

Teddy is gone

Hope’s 8-year-old French Bulldog, Teddy, died on Sunday. We were relaxing and watching television that evening. Teddy, as usual, was cuddled up next to Hope. He woke from his nap, panting and in distress. She ran with him to the emergency vet and learned that an unknown abdominal mass had ruptured and he was gravely ill. We couldn’t let him suffer and chose euthanasia.

A friend of ours told us: “Euthanasia is the last, best gift we give our pets. We take their pain and make it our own.” Teddy is free of pain. Ours is a throbbing behemoth.

Nothing stays the same

As everyone who’s lost a beloved pet knows – everything changes. Even with other animals in the house, everything’s different. And when you have multiple dogs, the dynamics of the family change.

As I (Hope) write this, we’re less than 48 hours without Teddy. Tango is sleeping more. Booker isn’t sure what to do with himself. Torque is unwilling to play. They’re not actively looking, but they know Teddy is missing.

Simon is barely four months old – a happy, clueless puppy. Thank goodness he’s here – we need to smile.

Feeling cheated

Beyond sad and unsettled, we also feel cheated, in an odd way. We’ve mentioned before that Teddy was diagnosed with Degenerative Myelopathy (DM) early in the summer. It’s a fatal disease the takes away a dog’s ability to move, progressing from back to front. It’s caused by the same gene mutation responsible for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s disease).

Battle plan

Hope had a plan in place to battle back against DM:

Rear lift assist harness
  • Special diet
  • Supplements
  • Physical therapy exercises to replace nerve loss with muscle memory
  • Massage
  • Cold laser
  • Training games to keep him engaged, thinking, and happy
  • Rear lift harness (pictured) purchased & ready when needed
  • Pet stroller so Teddy would never be left behind

The best-laid plans

Now all of it’s useless. Teddy saw his vets last Friday for routine stuff, including a check-in to evaluate the progression of his disease. They were thrilled with how he was doing – still walking. Still happy. They even got Teddy kisses. Six months after DM diagnosis, most dogs are “down” in the back. Teddy was still mobile. They tell us they fully expected him to have at least a year, very possibly more, before the DM took over.

So we were winning the daily battle against DM. And now?

No enemy to fight

This will sound like a non-sequitur, but stay with us for a minute: Is anybody out there a fan of the Monkees? Or even remember them? We were huge fans when we were kids.

Remember the song “Zor and Zam?”

The last line keeps playing in my mind: “They gave a war, and nobody came. And nobody came.”

22 thoughts on “2018 ends in pain

  1. Jeanne Clark

    I can’t put into words how sorry I am for you all. I have had 2 yorkies that have crossed the rainbow bridge. One of my dogs Button made it to 15 and my other yorkie only made it to 9. I have a little guy now and Disney is going to be 11 in May. It is like loosing a family member. They are so close to you that words can’t express how you feel when they are not with you. I don’t know what I would do without my little Disney. Every movement I make he is right by my side.
    As I write this note to you all I have tears in my eyes thinking of little Teddy. Please know that everyone is thinking and praying for you all.

    Reply
  2. Diana Seerey

    I’m so very sorry about Teddy. My heart and prayers are with all members of your family…both two- and four-legged. Your sweet pup will be waiting for you and in the meantime, he’s up there running around and having a blast.

    Take care.

    Reply
  3. Ali

    So very sorry for the loss of your dear Teddy. He was a lucky little guy to have someone who did as much as possible to keep him happy and active, for as long as possible! May God bless and comfort you and your other fur babies—I know that all of you miss him terribly. Christmas blessings to your family 🙂

    Reply
  4. Moika

    So sorry for your loss. We have our fur babies for such a short time, but live in our hearts forever. My your heart be filled with happy memories of the life of Teddy.

    Reply
  5. Becky Hall

    Dear Hope and family,
    I have tears in my eyes as I read about Teddy. I know the hurt you are feeling. I am so very sorry.

    Reply
  6. Theresa Noullet

    I am sooo sorry to hear of Teddy’s passing. I’ve been through this loss with 5
    Dachsies—some due to cancer or other illness, some as young as 2 yrs. over the
    last 25 years. My only real comfort is that I believe I WILL see them again when I die.
    Many stories of near death experiences reveal encounters with their former pets
    in heaven—happy, healthy and young again. This is expressed in the poem about
    The Rainbow Bridge. Teddy is now happy, healthy and waiting to be reunited with
    you and his buddies in heaven. I hope this offers some consolation to you as well.
    Sincerely, Terry N.

    Reply
  7. Sherry Kirsch

    Words don’t express sadness, pain, or that empty feeling inside when we lose one of our 4 legged family members. It affects everyone who considers their pet a true family family through their entire life. Everyday I miss my Rudy, sometimes I think I hear him scratching the rug under my bed……my love for him will last my life time. I look at photo of him alone and tears flow. I look at photos of him with Lucy and smile at the love they shared. She was a skinny little girl with health problems we didn’t know she had, but when she came in the house with red eyes and looking pitiful he adored her. Chased her around the house and showed her how to jump from the floor to the footstool to the bed and that it was ok. She was safe here and would never want for anything. The day we found out Rudy had cancer and when the Vet gave him 3 months to live we were devastated. He enjoyed every day he had and 1 day after the predicted 3 months, on my birthday, he looked up at me with such love I cried. He tried to get up but couldn’t. I called our family and asked them to come home. I asked our vet if what I fear had come, could he help us and not make us have to come back on another day after examining Rudy. We gathered in the room and the time had come to let him be at peace. It’s not easy but it is the love you have that lets you realize that it’s for the good of the one you love and will continue to love. Lucy still sleeps in Rudy’s bed and we know she misses him like we do. I honestly know the hurt, the sadness, the why, the empty feeling that we all feel. Please know how much you mean to so many of us and our hugs that we send are sincere and we feel your pain.

    Reply
    1. Golly Gear Post author

      Thank you, Sherry. We all know the pain of losing a beloved pet. And we also know the pain never outweighs the joy of having them in our lives. We hope you can think about Rudy and smile. We know our future holds many smiles when we think about Teddy.

      Reply
  8. Rosemary Nixon

    Profoundly sorry for you both at this very painfiul time, and I’m also sad for Teddy’s mates. Something I don’t wish anyone to go through.❤️

    Reply

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