Funniest dog stories

Have you ever noticed that the funniest dog stories are almost always about the dog’s naughtiness? Dogs always make us happy. They cause smiles every day. But the stories that get told and retold aren’t the “my dog is so sweet!” ones. The stories that make family history are the “so bad!” tales.

One for the books

Our family classic is decades old, featuring our Boston Terrier Daemon. Daemon was, to this day, the least-naughty dog we ever had. He was housebroken instantly. Never chewed anything. Came when called. He was the angel his name contradicted. 

Anyway, on this day the whole family was in the kitchen, waiting for the grill to preheat for our infrequent treat – a steak. Everybody was just kind of hanging out. Daemon was watching from his seat on the breakfast nook. And, in our compact galley kitchen, everyone could see everyone else, including Daemon. 

The steak, seasoned and sitting on a plate on the kitchen table, waits for the grill to come up to temperature. And out of the corner of our eyes, we see Daemon delicately stick a fang into the steak and gradually drag it to him. Inch by stealthy inch, the plate creeps toward him. For long moments, we silently waved and pointed, not saying a word – making sure everyone saw the thief in action. 

And then it was just too much. We all busted out laughing. Daemon, so embarrassed at being caught, drops the steak and disappears into the other room. 

And yes, we did cook and eat the steak. And Daemon absolutely got a piece!

Out of character

Of course it could be the reason that story sticks in everyone’s mind is because it was so unusual for that dog to be that naughty. And, to be completely honest, none of our other dogs would have been allowed that close. Case in point: we now never leave anything on the kitchen table without somebody keeping a constant eye on Simon. Ever. 

Picture of a French Bulldog at the kitchen table to illustrate funniest dog stories

When Simon was a puppy, Hope’s French Bulldog Teddy was around. And Teddy was the kitchen supervisor, always hanging out on a chair at the kitchen table. House rules, which Teddy scrupulously obeyed, were that anything that accidentally fell on the table was Teddy’s. If things stayed in or on the bowl/plate/platter/spoon, he knew it was “not Teddy’s.”

Simon was an acolyte studying at Teddy’s paws. He adored him, followed him around, did everything Teddy did. Unfortunately, Teddy passed away before the rules were engraved in Simon’s brain. He’s convinced that any food anywhere near the table is his. Simon would be mistaken about that. 

Lots of laughs

Of course Simon is responsible for lots of (sometimes painful) laughs, too. Like the way he dashes around the house, bouncing onto the furniture, regardless of who, or what, is between him and his objective. Fran’s still feeling the effects of the day it was her nose. We’re pretty sure it’s a little crookeder than it was before, but didn’t consult medical professionals for verification. 

Our dogs do make us smile on a daily basis. Sometimes it’s from the absolute cuteness – like Torque taking a nap with his little paw up by his cheek. Or with a little shake of our head when trying to spur 13-year-old Tango into action with his old agility release word “Action!” as he toddles along on arthritic legs. 

Everybody has stories

All dog people have favorite dog stories and we’d love to hear some of yours. The ones that make you laugh, or smile with nostalgia. Even the ones that make you cry. Because Roger Caras was right: “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”

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