Tag Archives: bonding with dogs

Best way to bond with your dog

What’s the best way to build a bond with your dog? And why would you need to?

Reasons for strengthening your relationship with your dog may include: adopting a new dog, introducing a new family member – either human or pet, getting to know a puppy, one person’s relationship isn’t as strong as another’s, building your dog’s confidence, establishing a training relationship, overcoming reactivity, etc.

No matter the reason, this method will tighten your bond, improve your dog’s manners, bolster his/her confidence in you, not cost anything extra, and only take a little extra time.

So – how do I build my bond with my dog

It’s actually pretty easy. Ditch the bowl. Hand-feed your dog. 

There’s no actual benefit to feeding a dog from a bowl, other than convenience. In the last few years lots of different feeding tools have become popular; raised bowls, snuffle mats, slow-feeders. But there’s no better tool than your hands. 

At your own pace

Maybe the first time you sit with your dog, food bowl in your lap instead of on the floor, your dog will be confused. But it won’t take long until your dog thinks it’s the best thing ever – they get your undivided attention and food at the same time! What more could your dog possibly want?

You don’t have to feed every meal by hand. You don’t even have to do it every day. But for family members who want to build a bond with your dog, it’s a golden opportunity. If there’s someone in the house the dog doesn’t listen to, that’s the person who should try it. 

Even better bonding

Don’t just sit there and hand over food – ask the dog to do something! The basis of all training games (the best way to train!) is to get the dog’s attention. Chances are your dog is never more focused than when food is involved!

If you do have the opposite issue, a finicky dog, the problem will turn around when the food comes from your hand instead! If your dog isn’t crazy about their regular food, slip in some yummy treats every once in a while. If your dog doesn’t know that the next bite holds, there’s more fun in the game.

Bowl fixation

There are people who despair when their dogs won’t eat out of a bowl. They complain that their dog is “spoiled” or “stubborn” because they like to eat from their person’s hand.

Thinking about it, it’s really more of an opportunity to spend time together, rather than an inconvenience. No dog will purposely starve themselves. If they won’t eat, it’s either because they’re not hungry, or not motivated. 

If you commit to changing your relationship with your dog through hand-feeding, your dog will look forward to meal times with an eagerness you’ve never seen before. 

Use the food

If you feed wet food, it can get a little messy to feed your dog by hand. Fortunately, hands wash clean easily. If you prefer, you can even teach your dog to take the wet food from a spoon. Another training game! 

Black Brussels Griffon Dog Tango and Hope had to build their bond

Feeding a dog by hand can make all the difference in the world. When Fran brought Tango home, he was a terror – trying to bite anyone who wasn’t Fran, dogs and humans alike. Hope started hand-feeding Tango and within weeks, he was her best friend, too.

As a matter of fact, Tango now loves just about everyone, because Fran asked just about everyone they encountered to give him treats. 

Change your dog’s meals into a chance to build your bond. You’ll have a better-behaved, more likeable, confident dog. And a rock-solid bond with your dog. 

Completely and totally your dog

When we were growing up, Fran and I (Hope) were under the mistaken impression that our family dog, Spunky (a Boston Terrier), was the family dog. It turned out that wasn’t quite the case. Unbeknownst to us, our Mother and Spunky were a pair – bonded for life.

It’s probably true in many, if not most, dog-owning households. The parents tell the kids that the dog is “your dog,” and their responsibility. All the while, behind the scenes, the adults are making darned sure that the dog gets fed, walked, and cared for as he should be. Mom and Spunky had lots of time together after we were asleep. We thought he slept in the kitchen, as good dogs were supposed to back then. Not so. Especially not if it was a stormy night. Like I said, Mom and Spunks were bonded.

Possession is only part of the equation

When I was all grown up and looking to get a dog of my very own – it didn’t work out that way. When I went home on weekends, Dragon (Brussels Griffon) and Daemon (Boston Terrier) glommed onto Mom and stayed there. Until they were dragged back into the car to go back to the city. Brats.

As time passed, things changed, and I returned to the family home, I was determined that I would have a dog who was all mine. I tried with Golly herself. She wanted none of me. I smuggled her onto the plane from Louisville to Chicago. I took her through a series of veterinary visits resulting in open-heart surgery. Nursed her back to health. She was single-mindedly devoted to Fran in every way. Her dog. 

Then there came Ceilidh (Kay-lee). I really, really tried. She picked Fran. 

Success at last!

My first “my” dogs – Teddy and Roc

When it came time to think about adding another dog to the family, I was absolutely determined. Roc was Golly’s nephew, also a Brussels Griffon. While Griffs are sociable dogs, they’re really one-person pups. So Fran wasn’t allowed to touch Roc when he came home. I carried him around for four days in a carrier. Fed him. Walked him. No interaction with Fran at all for the first two weeks.

It worked! He was wholly and entirely my dog. My first obedience-titled dog. We were a team. He allowed Teddy to join the team. It was great!

Not for everyone

A couple aspects of being extremely bonded aren’t for everyone. When you have a bond this strong, you never go to the bathroom by yourself. You can never dash through the house without kicking somebody. And other family members may get annoyed when your dog whines and sits by the door waiting only for you.

The upsides more than outweigh the downs. You always have somebody who wants to cuddle. You’re never lonely. There aren’t any arguments or backtalk. Your dogs are always thrilled you came back – even if you only took out the garbage. 

Family dog

There are individual dogs and whole breeds of dogs that are family dogs. They have a special relationship with each member of the family. That’s a wonderful, special situation, too. But if you want to be your dog’s person, in our experience you have to be everything for the dog, first.