Picture of a one-eyed French Bulldog to illustrate dog recover from trauma

Help your dog recover from trauma

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How can you help your dog recover from trauma, either physical or  life-changes? If we could keep our dogs’ lives happy, peaceful, and pain-free, all of us would. We love our dogs and never want anything bad to happen.

Unfortunately, as we all know, that’s not how life works. Despite our best efforts, a bad thing happen to good dogs. It’s up to us to minimize the effects of any kind of trauma to help them move on.

Coping with calamity

Dogs, for the most part, live in the moment. If they’re happy and comfortable now, yesterday might as well never have happened. If yesterday was traumatic, the best thing you can do is make today normal.

Picture of a one-eyed French Bulldog to illustrate dog recover from trauma

We are, sadly, all too familiar with life-disrupting awfulness. If you’ve been following us for a while, you know that Torque, Hope’s nine-year-old French Bulldog, had to have emergency surgery to remove his eye last New Year’s Eve. There’s not a whole lot that gets the adrenaline pumping faster than a medical emergency on a holiday.

You would think there was time to breathe once Torque was in the hands of the veterinary ophthalmologist. There wasn’t. Four hours later, he was back home, drugged to the sky. The other dogs knew something was happening and they were restless and upset. 

What now?

We did the absolute best thing we could think of. As soon as everyone was back home, we set the regular Sunday evening routine in motion. There may have been an extra adult beverage for the humans. But the dogs went out on schedule, played training games when they usually do, ate on schedule, and settled in for their regular evening cuddles. 

There is nothing more comforting to dogs than knowing what’s going on. When everyone is where they should be and the established routine is in effect. Dogs can cope with just about anything when surrounded by the familiar.

Don’t make it special

A woman we know is coping with the sudden, unexpected loss of her young male dog. His death was unexpected and sudden. Her older, female dog is also coping with the loss of her buddy.

This person was lost and the hole in her life needed to be filled. Within a month, she took her girl and hit the road to pick up her new little “brother.”

The new dog isn’t a puppy. It is the same breed, and a boy, like the dog they lost. But other than that, everything is different. 

The wise move would have been, as soon as they got home, to restart familiar schedules, patterns, and routines. They had regular, weekly Rally Obedience training sessions with Fran. Getting back on track would settle the older girl and let her know the new normal is still okay.

Instead, this person is taking time off, thinking that more time will help the dogs adjust. That thinking applies better to people than dogs. 

Get back to the grind

The best thing you can do to help your dog recover from either physical or emotional trauma is pretend everything’s okay. Return to a normal schedule, do the things you regularly did. Don’t let your dog know you’re as traumatized as they are. You have to be the steadying presence for your dog, even if you’re not feeling it. In the words of a prophet – fake it ‘til you make it. 

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Side by side pictures of two Brussels Griffons to illustrate boy dogs vs. girl dogs

Boy dogs vs. girl dogs

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Are there significant differences between boy dogs vs. girl dogs? Aside from the physical traits, are there advantages to owning one rather than the other? 

Our own preference has always been boys. But that decision was made back in the day when one of the criteria for being a responsible dog owner was getting your dog neutered young. We decided on boys because that was considered minor surgery, so we thought it was safer.

Now that the value of pediatric neuters is less clear-cut, the choice might be different.

Personality plus

If the physical differences aren’t a factor, what are the personality traits that characterize boy dogs vs. girl dogs?

There actually hasn’t been a lot of research on gender differentials in dogs. The vast majority of opinions are based on anecdote and experience, but there is substantial agreement on some general personality differences between boy dogs and girl dogs.

Boy dogs are reputed to be more affectionate and slower to train. The slow-learner tag may be because boy dogs generally mature more slowly than girls. And, it’s universally recognized that adolescent boys may have some issues with focus. Whatever their species.

Girl dogs are noted to be more independent and more apt to be problem solvers. In our experience, that’s not always true. Golly, Fran’s Brussels Griffon girl (and the inspiration for our shop), solution for every problem was to stare adorably at Fran until she got what she wanted. On second thought, that’s pretty admirably intelligent. 

In actuality, how willing most dogs are to learn depends on the desirability of the treats you’re offering. Doesn’t matter what the dog’s vital statistics are, as long as the cookies keep coming.

Choose the dog

Side by side pictures of two Brussels Griffons to illustrate boy dogs vs. girl dogs
Golly (left) and Tango

Over the years, as trainers, retailers, club members, and competitors in dog sports, we’ve encountered hundreds of dogs of both sexes. What’s absolutely true is that dogs, just like people, are individuals with their own personalities, strengths, and quirks. If there’s a dog or puppy that you connect with instantly, that’s the right dog for you. Regardless of gender or any other physical characteristic.

The anecdotal proof of that is Fran’s Tango. When Golly died, Fran took her time grieving, then decided to get a red, smooth-coated girl. Sufficiently different to not draw direct comparisons. Then she met Tango and was gone. Her smooth, red girl was actually a black, rough boy. But the connection was not to be denied.

Trust the experts

When you’re looking to add a dog to your family, ask the people who know the dog best whether it would fit your lifestyle. Whether you’re getting a dog from a breeder, rescue, or shelter, the people who know the dog best are your go-to experts.

If you’re looking for a couch cuddler, hiking buddy, social butterfly, or performance sport partner, it’s personality that matters. The physical characteristics don’t matter as much. Keeping an open mind will ensure that your heart will be open to the best match for you.

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Picture of a brown and white dog's face to illustrate the emotional life of dogs

Emotional Life Of Dogs

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When we decided to talk about the emotional life of dogs this week, we went down a rabbit hole. Actually, it was more like a mine shaft, leading to a warren of caverns with quicksand pits at every turn. We did learn a lot though, and, according to “Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions” – all animals, dogs and humans included, experience eight core emotions: Anger, Anticipation, Joy, Trust, Fear, Surprise, Sadness, and Disgust.

We were surprised that the two we planned to focus on weren’t included in the basics. Neither Love nor Jealousy were among the core emotions. From what we could ascertain, all other emotions (including those two) are combinations of the core emotions, which have degrees of intensity. That makes Love a combination of Joy and Trust. Jealousy is more complicated, a combination of Love, Anger, and Fear.

Common sensibility

Considering that Robert Plutchik studied animals and emotion in the late 20th Century, we have to wonder why there are now periodic headlines announcing that “Study proves dogs experience “X” emotion.” Of course they do! Ask any dog owner. 

Love, and all the great things that come with it, is the most powerful emotional tie between people and dogs. We always feel a bit sorry for people who’ve never had a dog. They don’t really know the feeling of being loved absolutely unconditionally by a being that wants nothing more than to just be with you.

Picture of a brown and white dog's face to illustrate the emotional life of dogs

We’ve heard it said that a dog is the only love that money can buy. And it’s true. If you have a dog, that dog’s going to love you. They won’t necessarily listen to you, or do what you want when you want them to, but they do love you. As Roger Caras said: “Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.”

The dark side of love

In both humans and dogs, the dark side of love can include jealousy. In our training, we take advantage of it. We play training games with each of our dogs individually, while the others watch. Needless to say, all of them are eager for their “turn.” They also watch carefully and learn even more by watching. It’s one of the sharpest tools in our training toolbox. 

We’re also careful not to go to the dark side of jealousy. Each of the dogs gets his turn. Every time. If we play with one dog, we play with all of them. If one gets a treat, they all get a treat. That even extends to occasions where we have to give medicine. If it’s hidden in a bite of cheese, everybody gets a bite of cheese. We just have to make sure that the right dog gets the loaded nibble.

To avoid triggering a jealous reaction, we always say the dog’s name when it’s their turn. If a dog knows absolutely no other words, they have to know their name. 

Personality plus

Part of being a good dog owner is recognizing your dog’s emotional make-up. Some dogs are pretty easy-going. Others are intense. Some are always on alert. Others need time to catch up with what’s going on. Just as your dog loves you just as you are, it’s on you to do the same for your dog.

Among dog trainers there’s a saying that you may not get the dog you wanted, but you get the dog you need. We learn something about ourselves from the dogs we get. Hopefully, it’s the wisdom to accept them. And ourselves.

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Picture of a Boston Terrier, a Brussels Griffon and two French Bulldogs to illustrate how to meet new dog friends.

How to meet new dog friends

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A conversation about “dog friends”

One of the puppies in a training class Hope is teaching just finished her puppy vaccines. She now has veterinarian’s permission to go places and do things where other dogs go and do things. At the end of class, Hope always asks for questions. The puppy’s owner was a little surprised at the answers she got:

“How should we go about letting our dog meet other dogs when we’re out?”

“Cross the street and avoid them entirely!”

“But don’t we want our dogs to have other dog friends?”

“The only dog friends your dog needs are the ones in your family and circle of friends.”

“But aren’t dog pack animals?”

“You’re their pack! Can you imagine wolves going to visit other packs?”

“But shouldn’t we socialize our dogs?”

“Socialization means your dog is comfortable enough to listen to you wherever you are. It doesn’t mean they’re interested in anybody else. Or any other dogs.”

Dogs aren’t people

It’s wonderful that dogs are now recognized as part of the family. But acknowledging their importance doesn’t make them people. And while you may act as your dog’s parent, your responsibilities to the dog are much different than to your two-legged children.

One of the primary goals of good parenting is to raise a good, competent, independent person who will contribute to society. That’s the end game. It may take a couple of decades to get there, but it’s pretty much all parents’ long-term goal.

Picture of a Boston Terrier, a Brussels Griffon and two French Bulldogs to illustrate how to meet new dog friends.

If you equate dog ownership with parenting, arrest that development at about five years old. Your dog is never going to be able to fend for themself. They’ll never have a job, earn any money, live independently, or pay taxes. They don’t need to function in society as long as they function in your home and family. That’s the priority and goal for your dog. 

And that’s why they don’t need dog friends. Dogs can never be each other’s’ support system. That’s you. It’s what you signed up for when you got a dog. 

No pressure

It’s time to ease up on the pressure. You’re not a bad dog owner if your dog doesn’t know or like other dogs. If you’re happy and your dog is happy, what’s the problem? 

If your dog does like meeting and playing with other dogs, that’s great. But it’s not necessary. You’re not a “bad” dog mom if the only dogs your dog likes are yours. If your dog gets along with everyone in their “pack,” it’s a win. 

Different set of pack mates

There are all kinds of combinations that can work as your dog’s “pack.” Family is first, of course. But there is also the dogs your dog may see often at doggie day care. That’s a different “pack.” Or a training class “pack.” One of the reasons we don’t allow new dogs in our classes in the middle of a session is because it upsets the balance of that “pack.” The first class of a new session is always loudest, and we get the least done. That’s because the dogs have to adjust to the new circumstances, and new participants. 

Just like you have different sets of people in your life, dogs can, too. There are the people you work with. People you went to school with. People in your neighborhood. Those you see at your coffee shop, or favorite restaurant. Your dog is capable of being a part of many social groups. But they don’t have to meet, or like, everyone they encounter.

If you do want to enrich your dog’s life with a dog play group, there are of ways to do that. Aside from doggy day care facilities, there are also organized groups within neighborhoods, or social-media breed-specific opportunities. There are even rent-a-yard possibilities if you want to get together with other people and dogs on neutral territory. If you think your dog would enjoy it, by all means. But you’re not a bad dog owner if you don’t. Dogs don’t need to meet new dogs.

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