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Picture of a white dog covered in mud to illustrate rescue dogs redux

Rescue dogs redux

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We got a surprise last week. Our blog post was about rescue dogs and it said there’s always a reason dogs are in a shelter or rescue situation. We didn’t say it’s the dog’s fault. We did say the reasons for rescue are either medical (people can’t afford care), physical (people can’t take care of the dog), or behavioral (people don’t or won’t train the dog). It is always, every single time, some human’s failure in some capacity, that lands a dog in the hands of a rescue.

And yet – we were slammed for being anti-dog, a shill for breeders, and all-around terrible people. Because we pointed out that every single rescue dog is going to come with some baggage. And that not every rescue dog is just a puddle of love waiting for a container to hold it. Some dogs are projects, not pets. And not every family can, or should, take on those kinds of projects. 

Let’s get real

Picture of a white dog covered in mud to illustrate rescue dogs redux

Dogs are not pure, perfect beings. That’s an unrealistic view. It reminds us of the philosophy of Rousseau and the idea that man, by nature, was pure and good, and society was the corrupting influence.

And it’s silly. Dogs, like people, are selfish, egocentric, complex beings who are capable of wonderful and awful behavior. When people say ridiculous things like “all dogs are good, altruistic, honorable souls,” they’re telling us they don’t really know anything about dogs. Dogs can be jerks. We know dogs are dirty, disgusting, and rude. They’re also capable of unconditional love, altruism, partnership, and caring. To acknowledge one without the other means you don’t really know dogs. You know and love the idea, not the reality.

If everyone had a dog

When we hear people say that the world would be a better place if everyone had a dog, we shudder. Not everyone has the time, patience, or capacity to love the way dogs deserve. In our training classes we tell people they have to spend 15 minutes a day playing training games with their dogs. And if they don’t have 15 minutes a day, every day, to devote to their dog, they shouldn’t have one.

If you really love dogs, you have to see all the nasty bits as well as the wonderful parts. Is it fun to carry a poop bag around? Not really. It’s also not a barrel of laughs to do laundry at two in the morning because you woke up to your best friend retching on your sheets. But you do it because you really love dogs. And you understand that love is accepting them for what they are, instead of looking at them through rose-colored glasses.

Dogs are perpetual juveniles who depend on us. It’s a big responsibility that not everyone can, or should, take on. A family of mature empty-nesters may want to take on a project and save a dog’s life. They may have the time and resources to devote to lighten that dog’s load.  The young family with a constant revolving door of friends and relatives may not be able to do it. It’s not fair to the dog or the people.

The reason for rescue

We’ve been supporting local shelters and rescues for many years. Rarely does a dog arrive in rescue with a full, truthful story. People lie about why dogs are surrendered. Whether to assuage their own guilt, or paint a prettier picture for themselves, they lie. And, if you adopt a shelter or rescue dog, you’ll have to accept that you’ll never, ever know what really happened to your dog before. You only get to treat the symptoms, because you’ll never know the cause. 

It can be done. We’ve done it. But even the people chastising us proved our point – telling us how wonderful their rescue dogs turned out, because the people were “up to the challenge” those dogs presented. 

We’re not saying don’t get a rescue dog. By all means, if it’s right for you, go for it. But everyone should know that life with a rescue dog isn’t all peaches and cream, rainbows and roses, hugs and cuddles. It may take some time for that rescue dog to accept a hug. Or want to snuggle on the couch. Will it be worth the wait? Lots of us think so. But it’s for every individual to decide for themselves. 

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Adopted dogs don’t need pity

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Do you feel sorry for your adopted dogs?

At least part of the reason people adopt dogs from shelters or rescues is because they feel sorry for the poor dog. And the absolutely gut-wrenching commercials from the national animal welfare organizations certainly encourage that attitude. Playing on people’s emotions is a major fund-raising tactic.  

Laying on the guilt

In the last few years the movement to encourage dog adoption from shelters and rescues has been tremendously successful. It’s changed the way people think about getting dogs. Awareness of puppy mill outlets has even changed laws around the country. 

Adopted dogs Cavalier King Charles Spaniel dog's face shown behind a fence to illustrate

But once an adopted rescue or shelter dog is home, safe with you, that sympathy doesn’t help. We regularly talk to people who tell their dog’s rescue story. While it’s important that we acknowledge the dog’s less-than-perfect history, we can’t let it define the dog. Your adopted dog can never tell you what happened. You’ll never know why your dog does certain things.

What you can do is change your dog’s story. Weighing them down with the past narrative may be holding them back. Your dog’s happiest life is ahead of him/her. Dogs live in the moment and today is their best day ever.

What, not why

One common issue we see with adopted dogs is shyness. It takes a while for the dog to trust a new family. And even longer to feel secure in a new, forever space. But feeling sorry for the dog doesn’t help. Allowing him/her to cower and hide only fortifies the behavior. 

Encourage your shy dog to explore new things, talk reassuringly, reward calm and quiet. We know that the emotionally-charged reaction is to “poor baby” the dog and protect him/her. It’s really hard to say “Really? I don’t see anything scary. Let’s go check it out!” when your first instinct is to pick up the dog, cuddle her, and sympathize.

Shy dogs may react fearfully to certain kinds of people (wearing hats, carrying bags, men, children, etc.). And almost everyone says “somebody like that person must have done something bad to him/her.” You won’t ever know if that’s true. That’s not a part of your dog’s story now. 

Now is what matters

We’ve been working with a woman who adopted a dog from foreign parts over a year ago. The dog was tremendously shy and barked constantly in class. Anything new or different would set Zoe off. And her barking worked for her. Her mom immediately paid attention. She even encouraged it by speaking sympathetically and petting to calm her down. Zoe had no reason to change – it was working for her.

Changing Zoe’s narrative is working to change her behavior. If there’s nothing to bark at, her rude behavior is ignored. Instead, when she’s quiet, she’s rewarded with treats and attention. She’s learning that she can relax and trust her mom to keep her safe. Whatever Zoe’s past might be, she’s safe now. She has enough to eat, a warm place to sleep, and will never be subject to abuse. That’s her narrative now.

Dangerous tales

In the shop the only dogs who ever bit us were both adopted, shelter dogs. Both of their owners were sympathetic to the dogs’ fears. Despite our best efforts, neither person changed their dog’s story. And neither one ended well. Pity doesn’t help.

In one case, the owner became a virtual recluse because no one could come to her home without being bitten. The behavior worsened with time. The woman herself was unable to put on the dog’s harness and leash, unable to even take the dog on a walk or to the veterinarian. Her dog lives a fear-driven, unhappy life. 

The other adopted dog’s owner, sadly, passed away last year. While there were people who cared about the dog, no one was willing to take him – including the organization he was originally adopted from. He was a very cute, vicious Shih Tzu. And his options ran out when his adoptive mother died.

Change your adopted dog’s story

Once your adopted dog is home, the pity should stop. Your dog is now one of the luckiest beings on the planet. They don’t have to fend for themselves. They have food, shelter, and love. And the potential for the biggest, most joyful future. You write your dog’s story. And you have the ability to make it happily ever after.

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